Camping Catastrophe
by demiajaie
Summary: Our cute and cuddly friends plan on going on a little trip, but of course something perculiar occurs and now their completely stranded with no easy way of getting back. Will they find their way out? The title pretty much sums it up here folks.
1. Chapter 1 Story time

Chapter 1 Story time

A Sunday would be great with a good old camping trip. It would be a good experience before going into the vile Monday. (Which of course no one would want to speak of at the time.)

The penguins' car randomly stopped on their way to their destination, which wasn't regarded as that big of a problem after Kowalski's theory of the reason being that the engine over heated and that a rest would give it time to cool off. They had gone on a rather moderate distance ride, quite deep into the forest.

The four birds sat around the fire, conversing and typically roasting marshmallows. The only thing eccentric was the fact that Private was frowning.

Not the frown someone would give when their depressed or on the verge of tears, the kind someone would give when they are enraged, trying to indicate that they are highly irritated by something.

"You're still upset about missing the season 7 finale of the lunacorns aren't you?" Skipper asked the boy, who nodded vigorously in response, still keeping his expression. He was straining his facial muscles so much it looked like his beak was going to fall off.

"Why can't you just watch it on repeat tomorrow?" Kowalski suggested.

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM! THEY BARELY AIR IT ANYMORE BECAUSE THAT SILLY NEW MISS PERKY'S FANTASY HOUSE SHOW TAKES UP THE WHOLE SCHEDULE!" The youngest explained angrily.

"Hey!" Rico grunted, unhappy about his 'girlfriend's' cartoon being called, 'silly'.

"Why didn't ya speak up before?" Skipper asked crossing his flippers over his chest.

"I was trying to give you the silent treatment..." Private grumbled through his frown.

The leader rubbed his lower beak, thinking for a moment before finally finding his voice.

"Ya know what, why don't we get into our sleeping bags, and I'll tell you all a story. How does that sound?"

Private's expression finally softened, nestling into the little purple bag with a slight smile. He may have loved the hippie moon horses, but he did enjoy a good spooky story.

"Hehe. Knew it would work." Skipper thought happily. And with that, he began the tale.

"It was a year, not known to any living organism. A young fellow decided that it was a good time to go for a stroll, in the dark gloomy night. Their name was-"

"Princess self respectra!" Private added happily.

Skipper groaned "...Fine.."

"Princess self respectra made her way to the undeniably spooky looking house nearby... Her and her friends had accidentally lost their ball in it while playing horsy in the middle that afternoon, and self respectra was the bravest to go in there and retrieve it.. The little lunacorn walked towards the entrance, peering in through the peep hole... Nothing could be seen through it.. 'This house must be centuries old.' She thought. Then a ghostly moan could be heard from the second floor. She looked to the broken window where their ball had fallen into, and saw-"

"Prince shares-a-lot!" The smaller penguin added again.

"Private if you add anything lunacorn related again, so help me I will slap ya so hard you'll forget your father's name."

The boy shuddered in his sleeping bag. "Sorry sir.."

"The princess entered the house. It was abandoned. Wasn't it?.. She trotted to the second floor.. Once at the top she discovered-"

"A famous scientist club party!" Kowalski added unexpectedly.

"Oh come on!" Skipper yelled in frustration.

"Ok fine.. Uhh.. A party filled with the spirits of old past scientists. She found out the wonders of socializing with dead people and was told some incredible things by Einstein. Things no biography could inform anyone about..." Kowalski restated.

Skipper squinted his eyes. "Better."

"With that out of the way, she still didn't find the darn ball. She skipped happily towards an open closet, Trying to widen the door to get a better view of what was inside. While she was doing so, out popped up-"

"A giant robot from World War two!" Kowalski interrupted.

"But self respectra has horn lazers, and destroyed the robot in one blast!" Private inquired.

"Ah but the robot had a back up drone stored in its inside just in case of it's destruction!" Kowalski countered. "And the drone used its powerful front limbs to launch the little lunacorn out the window unto the backyard."

Private's beak puckered in annoyance.

"Ok... that just ...happened." Skipper mumbled.

"Self respectra got up and took in her surroundings and-"

"And the easter bunny was there!" The boy said excitedly.

Skipper raised his flipper close to Private's right cheek getting ready to smack him.

The smaller bird whimpered. "Sorry sir." Putting his flipper on his beak.

"Making her way towards the tool shed. Someone might have found her ball and kept it there.. Right? On top off the shed it said-"

"Einstein's invention tools for gifted young scientists?" Kowalski asked.

"No." Skipper responded.

"Prince selfless' freindship dungeon?" Private asked.

"No."

"Fish?" Rico asked.

"Ok I give up!" Skipper hung his head hopelessly.

"Yay! I call dibs on finishing the story!" The youngest penguin said excitedly.

But before he could add anything else Rico interrupted. "IT RICO STORY TIME NOW!" He grunted.

"Ahl mus strull lala hamun stuguh magnuh Oh mah god fish sfuhff oh mah god pickels feefdfh houhad huddyhu..."

"I lost him at 'pickles'..." Kowalski whispered, as the scarred penguin went on and on.

"duh hemeh de bumbapha agh jugudef, HAF FUN!.. Duh end.."

The other three exchanged weird looks, before Skipper gained a warm smile.

"I like your imagination soldier. All righty, it's time to hit the hay.. it's nearly midnight." The lead penguin got up and waddled towards their little pink car.

"Hey Skippa?" Private called his attention, causing him to look back. "I think I'm happy that I got to hear this story instead of watching the the 7th season premiere.. Where are you going anyway?" Private asked.

"I'm gonna get the bug spray. Or do ya want the mosquitoes to fall in love with you? They sure do love the 'O' positive blood group." Skipper informed.

The Private cringed.

"That's what I thought..." Skipper said as he moved to the front seat, where all the resources, when he smelled something thing sweet.. coming from the engine. As he opened the hood his eyes widened in horror.

"Uh boys.. I don't think we'll be going home tomorrow..." He stuttered.


	2. Chapter 2 Truly a Sticky Situation

**WHOO Easter Holiday! After studying for Tests... And Exams... And Checkpoint Exams... I finally get some rest... For at least 3 or two weeks... but anyway this is how the story continues,**

"Wot do you mean we're not going home?" Private asked as the other two sat up starting to feel nervous.

The fear began to rise inside them when Skipper didn't answer. Kowalski took it as a way of saying, 'Come see for yourself.'

The intellect waddled beside his superior and gazed at the engine. A pink gooey substance oozed on to the sides of the vehicle as it covered the whole interior part of the front of the car.

After a few dozen seconds of starting, Skipper found his voice "Kowalski, explain."

The team strategist took a portion of the material and examined it, he then dunked it in his mouth and chewed for little bit... Then spat it out abruptly.

"Chewed out sour mango punch. And a lot of it at that." Kowalski.

"Ringtail..." Skipper growled. "I should have killed that lemur when I had the chance... Any options?"

Rico proceeded to hack out a tool box and olive oil before grunting in a questioning manner.

The taller comrade shook his head. "Nope, not this time. This isn't like the paste that gets matted in our feathers. We're going to need to pull the engine out and dismantle it."

Skipper rubbed his lower beak thoughtfully. "Alrighty boys, pack your sleeping backs, put em' in the boot and start pushing. We should be able to get this thing back to the zoo by tomorrow evening."

Heaving the car such a long distance was not a comfortable thought.

"Aww but Skippah! Can't we do so tomorrow?" The youngest protested.

Skipper shook his head. "Negatory. I'm not letting the smell of sweet and sour gum attract unwanted visitors. Now stop whining and start shoving."

...After the car had been propelled forward for about an hour or two Private had regained the frown he had earlier

"I thought this trip was to take a break from any form of training..." He grumbled while pushing.

"This situation _is_ one of the things we've trained for Private. Amazing athletes we know and love didn't get where they were today by sitting by a camp fire and eating marshmallows." Skipper countered, resulting in the younger penguin glaring at him which stung more than any needle he had feared of.

"You want me to tell you another story don't you?" The leader asked, to which the youngest answered by nodding vigorously.

"Fine! But if you men butt in again, your _'contributions'_ will drive us ALL insane."

"One of the stories Manfred told me all the time when we were younger, just to try and scare me. He called it _Nature guardian_... Or something.

 _At the time of this century human teenagers are daring enough to gather and have parties in the most ridiculous places._

 _A certain group made the mistake of having their's in the woods which was known to be sacred ground. Their lack of hygiene caused their waste to be disposed in the wrong places. Soda cans in on the ground, napkins in the trees and straws in the streams._

 _Deeds like this WILL NOT slip unpunished. When it was time to get back into their tents, one saw something scratched onto the ground which looked like writing which said: 'Non merentur. quia tunc nullis conviviorum.' Which translates to, you don't deserve to exist. Time for feastings. Of course the message was unclear and could be shrugged off easily._

 _The campers slept like logs that night, for some reason one of em woke for some reason. Must have been thirsty or something. The first thing she saw was pretty uncalled for._

 _Lot of her friends were covered in injuries and painful markings and were sprawled all over the place. Their bodies seemed empty and lifeless like the life had been sucked outta them completely. Some were on the ground, some in the trees and some dumped in the stream. It had only been 20 minutes! Whatever had attacked them was pretty fast._

 _Suddenly she felt a can hit the back of her head. The person who had targeted her was unidentifiable, but then she saw writing on the empty drink container. She picked it up and looked at it. It had the same message she saw before. It was that moment you realize that the feast, was THEM!_

 _As she continued to try to make out what it meant she was struck from behind. She saw a grass blade had gone through her chest. She tried to look at who it belonged to but the darkness enveloped her before she could._

 _The breath she took in when her eyes closed, was her last._ "

After finishing Skipper yawned as he used a free flipper to cover his mouth. "I always felt like that story was trying too hard. Y' know? Manfredi said there'd be sequels but I didn't think I'd want to listen to _any_ of them."

The others looked at their underwhelmed commander who chuckled. "I'm sure the guardian would not take kindly to pre-chewed gum stuck in the wrong places."

A burst of anxiety and adrenaline coursed through Private and Rico as they began to apply more force to their heaving. Kowalski was not phased by this statement, he did not believe in myths and horror conspiracies.

Since Rico had the most acute hearing he picked up a rustle in some shrubs behind him. He diverted a glance to the small shaking plants. He saw a pair of eyes poke out of them. He then stopped pushing and began to grunt and point frantically at the shrubs like a hound who had found a rodent out of its den. The creature had ditched the plants after realizing someone had spotted it.

"Rico the guardian doesn't exist. How can something from a story I told two minutes ago magically come to life? It highly improbable from like a billion percent to one. Now resume your post. The more of us on the job the less time it would take for us to get home." Skipper order.

The scarred penguin looked back at the group of plants before looking forward and getting back to work.


	3. Chapter 3 Unwanted visitors

**Hoo guyz! Here wit anudah chapturrr! And I apologize for taking so long. I wasn't on hiatus or anything. I'm just really freaking lazy. Once again I'm sorry :(**

Rico's paranoia was worsening. He could hear the sound of rustling shrubs everywhere. The creature must have either been incredibly fast... or multiplying.

The scarred bird began to whine like a puppy begging for its chew toy. He didn't want to admit it but Skipper had begun to notice as well.

"Huddle!" He commanded.

With that they left their post, put their heads and flippers together as they make a circle

"Something's watching us." He stated.

Rico made wild gestures with a free flipper, causing the leader to groan from annoyance.

"No Rico. It's not the guardian."

"Probably some of blowhole's minions sent to watch us." Skipper said.

"Maybe it's just some friendly woodland folk." Private suggested.

"Can't we just pretend they aren't there?" Kowalski suggested.

As they continue to converse, a rather sharp looking branch was thrown in their direction. They quickly broke the huddle.

"Dodge!" The leader commanded

They swiftly jumped out of the way as the wooden projectile dug into the ground where it was struck.

"Guess the theory of them being friendly's been debunked." Kowalski said.

Rico dashed forward from where he leapt, grabbed a rock and threw it. The rock successfully hit its target, as a high pitched wince could be heard, and a painful thud after it.

There was a brief silence... Before a torrent of sharp sticks were thrown from the shrubs.

"Run!" Skipper cried.

As they did so the creature, or now _creatures,_ seemed to be throwing sticks at them, and chasing them at the same time. Rico looked back to take in the organisms' features.

They were wearing masks and cloaks, all made out of leaves. But he also to noticed brown fur and

tails.

At that very moment was when Skipper sprung into action from behind, pushing his team mates into the bushes for hiding.

"I don't want to sound rude but... Wot were those things?!" Private asked. Even though he knew he most likely wouldn't get the right answer.

"I don't care anymore!" Skipper panted. "All I want to do is get rid of these things! Kowalski, options!"

"I suggest we fight back fire with fire. But instead of just sticks we do it with other things, and all we have to do is use them better than they did."

Kowalski then proceeded pick up some sticks, a stone and a vine.

"Kowalski! That's some quick strategic thinking!" Skipper commented with a smile.

Rico grunted something, which made Skipper chuckle.

"Acorns?"Skipper asked. "How are we supposed to use acorns as a weapon?" He snorted.

"No Skippah. I think he means we should use the nuts as a peace offering." Private explained.

The leader shook his head passively. "Anything that tries to kill us does not want to be friends Private. Now commence Operation: Break the barbarians!"

The potential mammals were still wandering around looking looking for them. Those strange, flightless tuxedoed birds could have gone far, could they?

Just then a tall figure with wooden constructed bow and arrow came out of the shadows and shot. Hitting a good chunk of the creatures, pinning them to a tree by their mask.

A smaller rounder figure threw rocks with with vines connecting them together at the opponents' feet, tripping a bunch of them.

One of them retaliated by attempting to pounce on the younger one, suddenly a broader figure pounced back, grabbing it by the tail and throwing it back towards its comrades ramming them in to the plants behind them.

The biggest and strongest looking, moved in, dodging Kowalski's arrows and deflecting the rocks, tripping Private in the process.

They then faced Skipper. She ran up to him attempting to strike him few times, but all was skillfully dodged. The lead penguin then ran closer to her, chopping the stick in half, then formed his defense stance, just in case she tried anything.

But after all that though it seemed like they began to surrender, as the most refined out of all of them (Which most likely was the leader,) bowed her head down and dropped her broken stick.

It didn't seem planned , but Rico finally stepped in. And he began to attempt to regurgitate something. Private, thinking it was going to be a bomb, intervened.

"No Rico! It's okay! They aren't attacking anymore!"

The scarred penguin shook his head, and pushed the younger bird out of the way, before belching out a bunch of acorns in front of the leading creature. She smiled underneath her mask, before taking it off. It was a squirrel. She seemed quite old, but healthy.

"Thanks." she said. Her voice was low and flat, as if she never cared about what was going on around her. Kind of like Fred.

"Rico how'd ya know what they were?" Skipper asked. Rico responded with usual grunts and gestures.

"Impressive." Skipper replied with a smile.

That was when Kowalski asked the most logical thing to ask right now.

"Why'd you attack us?"

"We have never seen your kind before. We thought you were birds of prey. So instead of running away we took it upon ourselves to fight back, but it seems we're a little rusty." She explained.

"Me and the boys'll be happy to give ya pointers in defending yourselves." Skipper said happily.

"Thanks. As an apology for this great misunderstanding, we're obliged to lead you out of the forest." She stated.

"Ha ha! Mission accomplished!" Skipper said, before they began to reward each other with high ones.

Though when Private put his flipper up to Kowalski he didn't deliver. He seemed to be deep in thought about something.

"Walski? Wot's the matter?" Private asked obviously concerned.

"Where did we leave the car?" Their happy expressions then turned to shock.

Skipper looked around as Private scratched his head.

"Uh oh." Rico muttered.

It's gonna be a long night.

 _ **The End**_

 **More like cliffhanger catastrophe ama rite?**

 **Enough cringey jokes. I'm glad I'm finally done with this story. When I slack off and know that I haven't finished this it feels like I'm carrying a giant rock on my back and I have to put it down somewhere suitable. Up till 12:00 am writing this. I deserve a good night sleep. Thank you for reading.**


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